Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Some thoughts from the patient

Hello to all:

When I read what Connor wrote earlier this evening, I was deeply touched, and took a few extra moments to reflect upon how much this blog has come to mean both to me and to Brian. When Kevin suggested that Brian pull this together months ago, neither of us had any real appreciation of what the blog would ultimately mean to our family.

We scrolled through the blog tonight, and noticed that there were several pictures of me in which I am visibly ill; to be honest, just looking at some of them gives me the creeps. I know that Brian has mixed feelings about such shots – on the one hand, they are painful reminders that there is only so much he can do to alleviate the specific situations in which I find myself, which I know kills him at times. On the other, he wants to be sure that he never loses an accurate perspective, and I support this view, even if I don’t find the photos (or the descriptions) very flattering. For my part, I hope to be able to look back on all the rougher moments with a sense of triumph, when all of this insanity is in the past. I know that sometimes Brian wants to show me as a wolf, and at others he wants to show me as some variant of Lady Frankenstein. Believe me, I do want to censor him from time to time, but I can’t really tell him not to be himself. He’s my biggest fan, as sappy as that sounds. Besides, I think it's all pretty funny, and part of the gift.

In spite of all of this, I know that Brian will find ways to cope. For some reason, when the kids write, I find myself becoming a wreck. I worry, at times, that I cannot live up to the standards Connor and Kelly have painted as my day-to-day performance record. Certainly, they are seeing me through rose-colored glasses…but God I love them all so much.

Love,
Patty

2 comments:

Rachel said...

Hi, I have been one of those discreet visitors since finding this blog. I found it by just clicking at the top where it says next blog and I ran into this one. I see that Patty is a very strong woman and is blessed by a wonderful family of supporters. I have been reading for about 2 weeks.

Patty, I want you to know that you are on my prayer list.

God Bless.

Anonymous said...

Connor, I am a big fan of your mom and agree with all that you said. She is the best at jewelry and her students all think so too! Don't you agree that she's just great at art in general. She has inspired so many to reach potential they never even knew they had.

As for being fun, no one can match your mom!!! She makes me laugh and I miss her everyday.

I think your mom is lucky to have you and your siblings. You are a great bunch and we enjoy the family pictures. You also are a great writer! You really pointed out what is wonderful and unique about your mom.

Your friend,
Debbie Burgess